However, here are two small changes I would make to improve it:. Want to improve your GRE score by 7 points? We have the industry's leading GRE prep program. Built by world-class instructors with 99th percentile GRE scores , the program learns your strengths and weaknesses through machine learning data science, then customizes your prep program to you so you get the most effective prep possible.
Paragraph One: For twenty-three years, my grandmother a Veterinarian and an Epidemiologist ran the Communicable Disease Department of a mid-sized urban public health department. The stories of Grandma Betty doggedly tracking down the named sexual partners of the infected are part of our family lore.
Write about the program. It has given me direction going forward. This means that filler words and phrases, such as "the truth is," or "it's my personal belief that," take up valuable space that could be used to compel admissions into requesting an interview. Personal statements are generally pretty short, often ranging between and 1, words. My dedication to improving myself as an individual in my career is resolute; earning my advanced degree is vital to my continuing as a professional in a field so important to the foundation of our culture. The simple combination of beams that could hold cars, trains, and trucks over long spans of water fascinated me. I joined the National Guard before graduating high school and continued my service.
Grandma Betty would persuade people to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, encourage safer sexual practices, document the spread of infection and strive to contain and prevent it. Indeed, due to the large gay population in the city where she worked, Grandma Betty was at the forefront of the AIDS crises, and her analysis contributed greatly towards understanding how the disease was contracted and spread. My grandmother has always been a huge inspiration to me, and the reason why a career in public health was always on my radar.
This is an attention-grabbing opening anecdote that avoids most of the usual cliches about childhood dreams and proclivities. This story also subtly shows that I have a sense of public health history, given the significance of the AIDs crisis for public health as a field. Paragraph Two: Recent years have cemented that interest.
In January , my parents adopted my little brother Fred from China. If I were to take another pass through this paragraph, the main thing I would change is the last phrase. Paragraph Three: It is not right that some people have access to the best doctors and treatment while others have no medical care. I want to pursue an MPH in Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia because studying social factors in health, with a particular focus on socio-health inequities, will prepare me to address these inequities.
The interdisciplinary approach of the program appeals to me greatly as I believe interdisciplinary approaches are the most effective way to develop meaningful solutions to complex problems.
In this paragraph I make a neat and clear transition from discussing what sparked my interest in public health and health equity to what I am interested in about Columbia specifically: the interdisciplinary focus of the program, and how that focus will prepare me to solve complex health problems. This paragraph also serves as a good pivot point to start discussing my academic and professional background.
Paragraph Four: My undergraduate education has prepared me well for my chosen career. For example, in a culture where most illnesses are believed to be caused by witchcraft, as is the case for the Zande people of central Africa, any successful health intervention or education program would of necessity take into account their very real belief in witchcraft. In this paragraph, I link my undergraduate education and the skills I learned there to public health. The very brief analysis of tailoring health interventions to the Zande is a good way to show insight and show off the competencies I would bring to the program.
Paragraph Five: I now work in the healthcare industry for one of the largest providers of health benefits in the world. In addition to reigniting my passion for data and quantitative analytics, working for this company has immersed me in the business side of healthcare, a critical component of public health. This brief paragraph highlights my relevant work experience in the healthcare industry.
Paragraph Six: I intend to pursue a PhD in order to become an expert in how social factors affect health, particularly as related to gender and sexuality. I intend to pursue a certificate in Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Reproduction. Working together with other experts to create effective interventions across cultures and societies, I want to help transform health landscapes both in America and abroad. This final paragraph is about my future plans and intentions.
Switching those two sentences and discussing my certificate goals within the MPH and then mentioning my PhD plans would make a lot more sense. This was a successful personal statement; I got into and attended! It has strong examples, clear organization, and outlines what interests me about the program its interdisciplinary focus and what competencies I would bring a background in cultural analysis and experience with the business side of healthcare. However, a few slight tweaks would elevate this statement to the next level. So you need more samples for your personal statement for graduate school?
Most of examples are posted as part of writing guides published online by educational institutions. This selection of ten short personal statements for graduate school and fellowship programs offers an interesting mix of approaches. Some focus more on personal adversity while others focus more closely on professional work within the field. The writing in some of these statements is a little dry, and most deploy at least a few cliches.
However, these are generally strong, serviceable statements that communicate clearly why the student is interested in the field, their skills and competencies, and what about the specific program appeals to them. These are good examples of personal statements for graduate school where students deploy lots of very vivid imagery and illustrative anecdotes of life experiences. There are also helpful comments about what works in each of these essays. Check out our best-in-class online GRE prep program. We guarantee your money back if you don't improve your GRE score by 7 points or more.
PrepScholar GRE is entirely online, and it customizes your prep program to your strengths and weaknesses. We also feature 2, practice questions , official practice tests, hours of interactive lessons, and 1-on-1 scoring and feedback on your AWA essays. However, all of these statements are definitely pushing the boundaries of acceptable length, as all are above and one is almost words! These examples of successful essays to the University of Chicago law school cover a wide range of life experiences and topics.
Note, however, that these are all essays that specifically worked for University of Chicago law school. That does not mean that they would work everywhere. This is something that might not work well for most graduate programs.
The student accomplishes this by using clear, well-elaborated examples, showing strong and vivid writing, and highlighting positive qualities like an interest in justice and empathy without seeming grandiose or out of touch. Based on the background information provided at the bottom of the essay, this essay was apparently successful for this applicant. While this personal statement is strikingly written and the story is very memorable, it could definitely communicate the wrong message to some admissions committees. This incident perhaps reads especially poorly in light of the fact that the military has such a notable problem with violence against women being covered up and otherwise mishandled.
This student took a risk and it paid off, but it could have just as easily backfired spectacularly.
In this guide, we discussed why you need a personal statement and how it differs from a statement of purpose. Then, we provided three strong graduate school personal statement examples for different fields, along with analysis. We did a deep-dive on the third statement. Want more advice on writing a personal statement? But you'll probably want to frame it as a personal narrative that helps the reader get to know you as an individual. Statement of Purpose : The biggest difference between a statement of purpose and a personal statement is the intent.
While also an essay, a statement of purpose generally focuses specifically on your reasons for applying to a program. The content should focus on the program itself and the specific achievements and experience that make you a good candidate.
A statement of purpose could also be known as a graduate school statement of intent, a goal statement for graduate school, or an academic goals essay. Make sure you have a clear message. What You Want to Say Think about the kinds of details, or the type of story you want to tell to achieve your purpose. Do you have a specific experience you want to describe, or certain achievements you need to share?
How do these details support your message? However, in other cases, you might have a little bit of wiggle room. Thinking about your strategy in advance could help you do that. Introduction Anywhere from a sentence to a paragraph, the introduction creates context for the reader. Body The body of personal statement, will likely consist of two to four paragraphs.
Conclusion Rather than introducing new ideas or supportive arguments, the conclusion is where you tie it all together. Close out your essay by making clear what your argument is and what you want the reader to take away from it. Writing Style For Your Personal Statement In addition to telling the school about yourself and your goals, a personal essay demonstrates your writing ability to your school.
Strike a balance between personal and professional.
Try and be direct, clear, and organized, to help your reader follow easily. Be engaging. Keep your reader interested through your style choices.
Everything you need to know about grad school admission essays, plus an awesome real-world graduate admission essay example. By popular demand: a collection of awesome application essays/personal statements/letters of intent from accepted grad school applications. Every essay here.